Health & Medical Self-Improvement

Forgiveness in the New Year

We've all been in hurtful relationships, whether through divorce, conflict with our parents, adult children or siblings.
As young adults, we're opinionated and judgmental.
As we get older, those same opinions and beliefs aren't quite as steadfast.
It's only through experiencing relationship crises, and emerging through the pain on the other side, that we see we had a choice all along.
but only now are we ready to make that choice.
We can either take the path to the left called 'just surviving' or we can take the path to the right called 'living well'.
When I stood at this junction eighteen years ago, I took the 'living well' path.
I was sure it required more work (it did).
I was ready to let go of my personal pity-parties (I did).
What I hadn't planned on was forgiving--it just naturally occurred.
If you've never experienced the wonders of forgiving someone, then here's the secret: Forgiveness benefits you, not the person you're forgiving.
In my case, a profound calmness settled over me.
But more importantly: My gut no longer felt as if it were churning through a grinder.
My shoulders no longer ached from a ton of emotional bricks.
I had no idea this would happen.
When my daughter experienced her first broken heart, I was there to listen to her.
I did not give her advice, because she was young and needed to find her own path.
She wasn't old enough to let go of those steadfast opinions and beliefs that I mentioned above.
We can't force or influence others to forgive.
We all experience it at our own pace.
So now you're probably asking, how does this tie in with organizing your thoughts? Absolutely everything! If you recall my column from a year ago, you probably chuckled when I said that I spend every January 1st organizing my files for the New Year.
Some of you even agreed with my confession that I'm pretty anal when it comes to that.
But why do you think I do this? It's because if I didn't, I'd be playing catch-up for months.
I'd be downright miserable and edgy.
But more importantly: My gut would feel as if it were churning through a grinder.
My shoulders would ache from life's constant interruptions.
And I knew this would happen.

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